and…

ladies: put your freakum’ leggings on.

http://koknockout.com/products/

We told you about our Halloween adventure. What we failed to mention is that I, as my alter ego pinkie pie, was wearing an eyepatch, not only because they are the go to winter accessory, but because I cut my eye the day before.  Sandwich wench with a bleeding eye. Needless to say, I had to wear an eyepatch for a weekish, and, graciously, my fellow ponies agreed to support me in that fashion statement.

To depressed, at first, to leave my house, I finally had to go outside from a powerful need eat, I began to see my eyepatch as  social experiment. Who would be disgusted? Who would be intrigued? Would I make more tips because people felt bad for me, or because they saw humanity in my strangeness? The first day was disappointing. A steadfast believer in the power of human compassion, I found my fellow man to be terrified of what lay beneath the eyepatch. As the week went on, things got more fun. I met up with friends from highschool who thought I looked “raw”. Coworkers and customers alike were compassionate. Some were just interested. People would ask what happened and immediately become embarassed of their question, “I mean, if you don’t like to talk about it…thanks for the coffee, i’ll just go.” That’s when I started telling them the accident stories.”Fishing accident, knife fight, racoon encounter, nose job gone wrong…yeah. I was an incredibly vain person but I’m learning to live without it. I really have an entirely new outlook on life and I think that’s a blessing”

I guess I don’t have a conclusion, except that eyepatches are pretty fly and I’m going to incorporate them into my outfit every once and awhile. I decorated mine with blue snake skin.

Coming soon: “Disco Gloves for less that $245″

“I wish I could shop at Gap Kids”

“Catholics v. Protestants: best dressed on Christmas”

Now one autumn morning when the wind had blown all the leaves off the trees in the night,
and was trying to blow the branches off, Pooh and Piglet were sitting in the Thoughtful Spot and wondering.
“What I think,” said Pooh, “is I think we’ll go to Pooh Corner and see Eeyore, because perhaps his
house has been blown down, and perhaps he’d like us to build it again.”
“What I think,” said Piglet, “is I think we’ll go and see Christopher Robin only he won’t be
there, so we can’t.”
“Let’s go and see everybody,” said Pooh. “Because when you’ve been walking in the wind for miles,
and you suddenly go into somebody’s house, and he says, ‘Hallo,Pooh, you’re just in time for
a little smackerel of something,’ and you are, then it’s what I call a Friendly Day.”
Piglet thought that they ought to have a Reason for going to see everybody, like Looking for Small
or Organizing an Expotition, if Pooh could think of something.
Pooh could.
“We’ll go because it’s Thursday,” he said, “and we’ll go to wish everybody a Very Happy Thursday.
Come on, Piglet.”

I never have a reason for visiting my friend, it’s just a necessity. The holidays are wonderful for bringing people together, but personally i like to take every thursday as an opportunity to eat and drink and burn the house down with the people i love. Most memorable quote of the day so far: “There’s gas coming out of the oven!!! is the plastic bag on fire?!!!” And so we go, Pooh and Piglet, out into the blustery afternoon. Friend-ward bound and bearing a bottle of Jameson and a jar of pickles. Happy thursday to all of our friends and family.

P.S. I dressed like Russian Barbie

Coming Soon: Our semi-annual ‘Impressive Women’ list.

If you really want to take this color palette to the next level try painting your entire body cadmium red light.

Warning: Covering the entire surface of your skin with acrylic paint may cause your skin cells to suffocate, causing rapid deterioration and eventual death.

that’s my dad

I have been feeling very unexcited about fall fashion (pants are such a downer) for the last few weeks which is why this is coming so late. All I know is that I do not want to think about tights, pea coats, and even sweaters aren’t getting me off. I was chatting with a friend, lets call him Kim?, about which accessories I would need when I buy a motorcycle, after I stumble on a pile of money (currently accepting donations). You cannot waste that badass entrance on an Anne Klein pants suit. There is the obvious leather coat, leather pants, leather boots, leather cat suit?, but we also decided that some badass battle scars are definitely a necessity. Bruises, gashes, and scars are made out of deep reds, blues, and purples. They are the perfect way to add texture to your skin without spending any money. T-pain and I suggest starting with black eye and then working your way to other wounds. That mandorla of blue and red will bring out the architectural and religious nature of your face. For everyday you can make them out of makeup but for special occasions try going au natural. Keep in mind that this route is not for the faint of heart. T-pain and I were at a party the other night and we spent a lot of time trying to give each other black eyes to no avail. After that, I jumped on my bike and immediately got hit by a car. Divine retribution I guess, but, my eyes, alas, remained pristine. Rock those bruises, but if you start getting “Honey, I know a place where you can go and he can’t find you,” you might want to tone it down. Remember you are not the victim of abuse. Do not cross the line into “the girl who cuts herself and writes poetry about it”, but instead a kind death knell of the approaching apocalypse, angel of the Lord, dolling out justice wherever its lacking, you just acquired some love taps on the way. I know that was my high school stereotype.

Happy Trails,

Little Po

Coming soon: “Tensing Norgay, sportswear’s new silhouette”

“a return to surrealism: dressed up to get messed up”